CRUD Underground Gazette 1

Mr. Eener Escapes The Evil Clutches of E.L.F.

by Anonymous

Richland, WA

Mr. Eener has escaped the unlawful imprisonment imposed upon him by the self-proclaimed savior, E.L.F. Mr. Eener, who understands his position in life, has publicly announced his desire to continue the treatment he receives at home with CRUD. CRUD, previously Coalition for the Release of eener Under Detainment, has changed its name to Cruelty and Reproachable treatment to Undeserving Degenerate critters. While the acronym remains the same, their efforts to put stuffed animals worldwide in their place via torture and humiliation have been stepped up dramatically. Many members of CRUD have officially split off into smaller, underground sects which have sworn to make public, political statements through the torment and torture of stuffed animals and public protests against stuffed animal rights activists.

Mr. Eener stated at a private press conference Monday that he was relieved to be home and that stuffed animals everywhere should simply acknowledge their place in existence and not try to fight. Fighting back will just make the hardships that stuffed animals must endure more severe!

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