Twisted Tales of Toy TortureLittle Drummer Boy

Wanda Smythe's tales

All Tale material on this page copyright 2002, Wanda Smythe. All rights reserved.

My name's Wanda Smythe, and here are a couple of accounts of toy torture.

Since I was little, my favorite toy was the Barbie doll, just like any normal little girl. However, unlike most normal girls, I had, and still have, an obsession with putting things in my mouth that don't belong there. Especially chewy things. Can you see where this is going? So, one day when I was about five, I was busy sucking on Barbie's leg, when I noticed how firm and rubbery it was. I couldn't resist myself; I sank my teeth into the rubbery firm flank. I didn't want to bite off anything, though, so I just gnawed contentedly for about ten minutes in much the same way that a dog chews on a bone. When I took her leg out of my mouth, I inspected the damage I'd done her. The "skin" on her ankle was ragged and barely hanging on. She had some really deep indents in her leg that never went away. I vowed never to do it again; after all, toys are expensive and all; but it became an obsession, and pretty soon the rubber flesh had come off her leg, revealing the light tan skeleton underneath, but it wasn't as fun to chew because it was too hard. In short, miss Barbie looked like some Rottweiler's chew toy. Unfortnately, this wasn't the only toy I had struck. Though I can't recall it, my mother told me I teethed on my older brother's rubber wrestler action figures. She showed me the permanent bite marks on a wrestler's butt to prove it.

Another story worth telling: long after I threw out my tortured and abused Barbie, I entered the ninth grade at a little Catholic high school with a good reputation. One day, as I was walking to my locker, I noticed this other girl's open locker door... it had a white shoestring with Barbie attached by the neck. I praised her on her interesting decorating skills... it certainly stirred wicked memories. Too bad she took it down and all. Damn.

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