Some Thoughts About the Tonys 2006

• Best single word to describe them: BORING. This show had less spark than any I can recall watching. Maybe it was because of all the Brits who won. I love the Brits, I've been an Anglophile for most of my life, but flamboyant and excited doesn't usually describe them. Up they went in their tuxes with little smiles on their faces.
• Next best word to describe them: HETEROSEXUAL. Maybe this is why the show had little spark. But nearly all the winners were careful to thank their wives or husbands. Were the Tony Awards producers and voters trying to erase the memories of the last few years by showing how wholesome and family-friendly actors are? The only one who thanked his life partner was John Doyle. Even Harvey Fierstein was subdued. The only gay guy who had any life to him was Rod/John Tartaglia.
• The audience wasn't into it, though there were moments.
• Do they really want a broader viewership for the Tony Awards? Then provide more scenes from plays! More scenes from musicals! Encourage guys to wear things besides tuxes! Make the damned thing genuinely entertaining! Jesus Christ, folks, there's a friggin' REASON we go to live theatre! With all the talent out there, and the fan base in NYC to provide advice, it can't be that hard to show the world why we're fans! I'll go out there and help them for free, just to make this awards show something worth watching!
• One thing they could do would be to cut the drivel that the presenters speak about the various awards. It's not like they're telling us something that isn't glaringly obvious. And can the scripted jokes; they rarely work.
• Bring back Hugh Jackman!
• You have Harvey Fierstein; for god's sake, USE HIM!
• Harry Connick Jr. was C-R-A-P. My friend Robin (we talked on the phone during commercials) said that she would be charitable and assume he was very nervous. My dad, who didn't know who the guy was, said "This guy is supposed to be a singer?" He was off key, his piano playing was lousy, and he's no musical comedy actor. He stomped around the show's by-the-numbers choreography like he was condescending to dance with the lowly gypsies.
• On the other hand, Kelli O'Hara continues to impress. Dad was very taken with her.
• Pajama Game over Sweeney Todd??? Must've been the out-of-town voters.
• John Lloyd Young over Michael Cerveris????? See above.
• I do NOT appreciate jukebox musicals--one major reason I switched to show music over the rock I used to listen to was that I am thoroughly, thoroughly sick of oldies. Jersey Boys looks like a tribute concert to the Four Seasons, and while I know there's more to it than that, I'm disappointed that it won the Tony. Though to be honest, the others didn't seem to merit Best Musical at all. It really was a weak season.
• I suppose Jersey Boys deserved its award, but damn, the CD sucks--except for the relatively few moments of dialogue, it's just covers of Four Seasons songs. Yawn. I'm sick of the Four Seasons' music to begin with; why do I want to hear covers of those songs?
• It was nice to see the real Four Seasons, though, even if they did have deer-in-the-headlights expressions behind Joe Pesci.
• And the acceptance speeches from John Lloyd Young and Christian Hoff were quite touching.
• Julie Andrews. Julie Andrews. Every year, we get Julie Andrews, presumably to appeal to the larger world.
• Wouldn't Elaine Stritch make a wonderful presenter? Or Bea Arthur? How come John Cullum never presents?
• I wanted Judy Kaye to win, since I saw her in Souvenir, but I was pleased with Cynthia Nixon, since she bought the homemade soap that I donated to my friend's son's elementary school.
• The tribute to August Wilson and Wendy Wasserstein was very nice--they needed more moments like that. However, they really short-shrifted the rest of the deceased theatrical personalities, in particular Cy Feuer and Robert Wright.
• The Wedding Singer was truly awful. I'm glad they were shut out.
• The Color Purple--well, I had to compare it with Crowns, which I saw at the Denver Center a few weeks ago, and it compared unfavorably. In fact, it looks like the creators of Purple were, um, emulating Crowns. Young girl stands there getting advice from large black women in hats. But Crowns was real gospel music. Take my advice and see Crowns wherever you can.
• The Drowsy Chaperone looked pleasant but not much more than that.
• Best presenter moment was probably when Christine Ebersole said "A Republican puppet? Rings a bell...."
• Second best presenter moment was when they gave Patricia Neal a replacement Tony.
• Third best was the guy (can't remember who) who had trouble reading the teleprompter and kept talking about needing Lasix.
• The bit where guys from Spamalot came in and babbled about technical stuff was less funny than it should have been.
• Didn't Harry Belafonte look terrific?
• Sweeney Todd was impressive as hell.
• The Threepenny Opera didn't look so bad until those dancers came out behind Alan Cumming and Cyndi Lauper. Then it all fell to pieces.
• Cumming and Lauper were great, though. I could watch Cumming in just about anything. (Might have to fight off Rod, though.)
• The Hal Prince tribute was lame, lame, lame.
• If the national networks really are so tight-assed about the gay factor, then move the damned show back to PBS, or put it on Logo or Bravo or something. Frankly, homophobes need it shoved in their faces; becoming unoffensive is NOT the answer.
• Good to see Barbara Cook, James Naughton, Ben Vereen, Patricia Neal, Chita Rivera, and Jim Dale.
• Jesus, this was the 60th anniversary of the awards, and the only thing they could do was provide a bunch of quickie shots of people accepting awards and vaguely reminiscing? I swear to god, they spent more time on that Def Jam Poetry crapola a few years ago.

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